What to Do During Divorce

Reviewed by Paz Delacroix (PD), Editor-in-Chief — Family Law & Divorce Litigation Practice. Updated May 2026.

The period between separation and final divorce decree is one of the most financially consequential stretches of most people’s lives. Decisions made — and mistakes made — during this period can affect the settlement outcome for years. This guide covers the practical steps that protect your financial position, preserve your legal rights, and set up the strongest possible position for settlement negotiation or litigation.

Step 1: Gather and Preserve Financial Documents

The foundation of any divorce financial proceeding is documentation. Courts divide what can be proven; unsupported claims about asset values, account balances, or income go unverified and may be dismissed. Before separation becomes formal — or as soon as possible after it does — collect and secure copies of every relevant financial document.

What to gather: recent statements (at least 12–24 months) for all bank accounts, brokerage accounts, and retirement accounts, including any accounts in your spouse’s name only; federal and state tax returns for the last 3–5 years; recent pay stubs for both spouses; documentation of all outstanding debts (mortgage statements, car loan statements, credit card statements, student loan statements); any business financial statements or ownership documents if either spouse owns a business interest; documentation of separate property claims (pre-marital account statements, inheritance documents, gift letters); and life insurance policies, including cash value policies.

Access to shared financial accounts may be restricted or cut off after separation, particularly if one spouse controls the household finances. Download statements directly from online portals and save them to a personal device or cloud account that only you control. Print backup copies. The effort to gather documents before separation becomes adversarial is far less than the cost of obtaining them through formal discovery after the fact.

Valuation documentation matters for non-liquid assets. Real estate: recent tax assessment and any independent appraisals. Business interests: any recent valuations, buy-sell agreements, or accountant-prepared financial statements. Closely held businesses are frequently the most contested asset in high-asset divorces because their value is inherently uncertain and subject to competing methodologies. If your spouse owns a business, documenting baseline value early is important.

Step 2: Do Not Dissipate Marital Assets

From the date of separation (and in some states, from the date the divorce petition is filed), courts impose obligations on both spouses not to dissipate marital assets — that is, not to waste, hide, or transfer marital property in ways that reduce what is available for division. The prohibition covers a range of conduct that people in contentious separations sometimes engage in: large cash withdrawals from joint accounts; transferring assets to relatives or romantic partners; paying off one spouse’s separate debt with marital funds; running up joint credit card debt unilaterally; gambling; or selling assets below market value to a friendly third party.

Courts take dissipation seriously. If a court finds that one spouse dissipated marital assets, it can credit the innocent spouse for their share of the dissipated value — which in practice means reducing the dissipating spouse’s share of the remaining estate by the dissipated amount. In egregious cases, dissipation findings can be treated as contempt or referred for criminal proceedings.

The practical rule: from the moment you know the divorce is proceeding, make no significant financial moves without either your attorney’s advice or your spouse’s knowledge and documented consent. Routine bill payments, ordinary living expenses, and maintaining the standard of living are acceptable; extraordinary expenditures or asset transfers are not. Document everything you spend from joint accounts and why.

Step 3: Understand Temporary Orders

Within weeks of filing or responding to a divorce petition, either party can seek temporary orders from the court — interim rulings that govern the situation while the divorce is pending. Temporary orders typically address: who has the right to occupy the marital home during the proceeding; who is responsible for paying which bills (mortgage, car payments, utilities, insurance); temporary child custody and parenting time; temporary child support; and temporary spousal support.

Temporary orders are not permanent but they matter for two reasons. First, they govern a period that may last months or years while the divorce resolves. Financial pressure during this period — being cut off from household income, being unable to pay rent or utilities — is a negotiating weapon that a spouse who controls finances can deploy. Filing promptly for temporary orders if your spouse is restricting your access to funds is essential.

Second, temporary orders often set the tone for permanent orders. A custody arrangement that has been in place for 12 months has momentum in the permanent order proceeding — courts are reluctant to disrupt arrangements that have been working, even if they were set temporarily. The same is partially true of support: a temporary support amount that has been paid reliably for a year becomes the baseline expectation for permanent support negotiations.

The process for obtaining temporary orders varies by jurisdiction but typically involves filing a motion with the court and scheduling a hearing. In emergency situations — domestic violence, imminent dissipation of assets, credible threats to take children across state lines — emergency restraining orders or emergency temporary orders can sometimes be obtained on very short notice.

Step 4: Open Individual Accounts

Before or immediately after separation, open individual bank and credit accounts in your name only. Direct your paycheck to your individual account. This provides financial independence during the divorce proceeding and prevents the situation — common in contentious divorces — where the higher-earning spouse cuts off the lower-earning spouse’s access to household funds as a pressure tactic.

Keep detailed records of what you move and why. Courts will scrutinize transfers from joint accounts around the time of separation, and you want to be able to document that any transfers reflected your share of household expenses or reasonable living costs, not dissipation. A brief record — even a spreadsheet showing what was moved, when, and what it paid for — is much easier to produce contemporaneously than to reconstruct later.

Credit: if you do not have credit in your own name (because all accounts were held jointly or in your spouse’s name), begin building an individual credit history immediately. This affects your ability to refinance the marital home if you want to keep it, to qualify for an apartment or rental, and to establish financial independence post-divorce.

Step 5: Work With a Family Law Attorney

Family law is among the most jurisdiction-specific areas of law in the United States. The difference between community property and equitable distribution, the specific factors your state weighs in support determinations, the local judicial culture in your county, and the specific procedural rules for your court system all matter significantly to outcomes. A competent family law attorney brings this local knowledge and applies it to your specific facts.

The question of how much attorney involvement you need depends on the complexity of your situation. For truly simple divorces — short marriages, no children, minimal shared assets — attorney review of a self-drafted agreement (rather than full representation) may be adequate. For anything involving: significant retirement accounts requiring QDROs; business interests; substantial real property; one spouse who is significantly more financially sophisticated or represented by aggressive counsel; child custody disputes; or allegations of hidden assets, full attorney representation is warranted and the cost is almost always recovered in improved outcomes.

Attorney fee considerations: many family law attorneys offer free or low-cost initial consultations. Some work on flat fees for uncontested matters. Hourly rates vary by market ($200–$600/hour is typical in most major metropolitan areas). Attorney fees in divorce proceedings can be paid from marital assets in many states — your attorney can advise whether a motion for attorney fee allocation is appropriate in your case if your spouse has significantly greater access to marital funds.

One valuable and underutilized option: even if you cannot afford full attorney representation, a single consultation to understand your rights, your jurisdiction’s default rules, and the general range of likely outcomes is worth the cost. Negotiating without knowing what a court would order if negotiations fail leaves you in the dark about whether any proposed settlement is reasonable.

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